I am so used to declining so quickly and before I know it I feel terrible and it takes ages to recover but since I have been looking after myself this time the decline is slow and steady and manageable which makes a refreshing change and gives me the boost I need to carry on doing the relentless treatment.
So... I have been feeling a bit rubbish so decided to call the hospital and ask to come in for some intravenous antibiotics before getting really really poorly. At the moment simple things like talking on the phone or walking around picking up Livvy's toys makes me out of breath and thats not normal for me.
When I come into hospital I have to have a line put into me so that the intravenous (IV) antibiotics go straight into my blood steam. Due to being poorly all my life my vains have been used so many times they can barely be used which obviously makes IV antibiotics impossible as they are a 2 week course, 3 times a day and involves putting through 2 antibiotics and various flushes. So having an easily accessible line is very very important. I have something in my chest called a Vascuport. They used to be made out of titanium but are now plastic. I had actually had 7 put in over the years. I was one of the first children to have one fitted ever! So how it works is the port is put under the skin in an operation and there is a tube attached to it which feeds into one of my main vains. Its meant to last roughly 6 years but they can get infected or blocked and they need removing earlier than the 6 years. When I need IV's I have a needle inserted into the port and the needle stays there for the 2 weeks.
So I have my needle inserted then usually the next day I have something called dessensitisation. Its basically where they inject me over 6 hours with something that I am allergic to lol!! It sounds completely crazy and I guess it is but for me its my life and normality. The reason they have to do that is cos I have developed alergies to pretty much every antibiotic I can have apart from one and the one I can have is not safe in pregnancy! So everytime I came into hospital I have this long process to get my body used to a drug that I am allergic to. They start off injecting small doses and increase it every time a bag ends. I have never reacted to a drug after having this process done but I know my friends have gone through it and still reacted.
So thats a pretty short version of what I have to do. Far too long and boring to explain fully!
The point of this blog tonight is to say that walking out of the door of my house today and saying goodbye to my husband and my daughter was so very difficult. Livvy was watching me pack my case not having a clue what I was doin but still knowing it wasn't normal. It broke my heart. Though I am so so lucky to have an amazing hubby who looks after our daughter so well its something I dont have to worry about when I have to go. Thank you Chris for being the best daddy anyone could ever wish for. Livvy is a lucky girl to have you and i'm very lucky too. I really appreciate everything you do for us :o)
Gonna go now as One Born Every Minute is on and I get excited everytime I watch it cos it will be me giving birth in a few months time EEEEEK lol! Can't wait!!!
Love you Livvy and Chris and I miss you both like crazy xxxx
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Crikey, sounds "fun". I don't envy you one bit, but hope it all works well and as quickly as possible.
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