Wednesday 26 January 2011

Harsh

Ok so my blog so far has been pretty light hearted but now i'm going to take it a bit deeper.....

Since I have been pregnant the 2nd time around I am struggling to sleep plus Livvy is teething, got a cold and MMR making her feel rubbish so is waking up alot which wakes me up.

When I wake up I am WIDE awake for a good hour or so but this morning was about 2.5 hours. So I surfed the net a bit on my Blackberry. Usual sites I visit at the moment are Facebook and BabyCentre. Sometimes I venture over to the Cystic Fibrosis forum. I say sometimes due to the fact it can be very morbid and a bit too intense on there. People that go on there are very open and honest and sometimes a bit brutal! But hey at 4am with nothing else to do I took a look......

A few posts stood out to me due to their relevance to CF and pregnancy. Alot of girls with CF can struggle to get pregnant and have to have alot of help and maybe IVF. I have quite obviously been EXTREMELY blessed to have ot pregnant so easily with Livvy and now with number 2 on the way. Well what can I say?! I think everyone knows how special I feel :)

But anyway back to my point.... One girl posted about having children when you have CF is maybe selfish and unfair on the child. This exact point is THE most difficult thing to think about and face up to but you do HAVE to as it is reality. In this certain thread it came up that research showed that on average girls that have had children die when the child reaches about 8 years old.

I guess my point is that when you see stats like that it forces you to wonder if you have been selfish to the child? Is it fair to bring a child into the world at the risk of leaving him or her that early and maybe earlier? Is it also fair on my partner to be left a single parent?

Obviously I cannot and would NEVER change the fact I had Livvy and I hope in the future she will forgive me for or maybe even understand why I did what I did. And that i love her so very very much!!!!

Well i'm sat at the doctors getting emotional so before people start lookin at me strange I will stop for now.....
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

2 comments:

  1. I shall be harsh and fair in response.
    No one can tell you how long they will live for, children are left with one of no parents every day at the hands of others. Car accidents, murder, poor health or other freak situations. If we all worried about not having a child unless we knew we could be there for them for the rest of their lives, the world would be an empty place.
    I respect the opinions and comments about having a child knowing you are ill,but the truth of the matter is, with good parenting skills (as you have) you can make a massive impact on a childs life in way less than 8 years. And set them up for life.
    Compared to some of the social misfits out there that have children to get benefits, get a house and give up on being a worthwhile human being.

    Morals only stretch so far, and in this case, I say you are covered, so go make babies!

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  2. Thanks hun :o) I know most of the time I am right in doing what I do but sometimes there is doubt. I think its only natural. It's good to get an outsiders perspective though so thanks again it made me smile :o) xx

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