My health has been particularly rocky since Jayden was born and the stress that my health puts on a marriage can sometimes be extremely difficult to cope with for both parties. We tend to take things out on each other but we both know neither of us mean for that to happen and that we love each other dearly and always will, no matter what!
I happened to speak to the health visitor about certain stresses and strains that my health bring but also what impact my health has on a toddler. Her behaviour changes every time I go into hospital. Sometimes positive and other times negatively. I absolutely HATE to make such a negative impact on her life. I have dealth with some pretty upsetting things as a result of me being in hospital. As much as I try not to take it to heart it is hard to put up that wall and not have it effect you.
I can't imagine what must go through a 2 year olds head when one minute Mommy is here then the next Mommy is gone for nearly 2 weeks. Then I just re-appear as if nothing has happened but to her I'm sure it feels like a lot has happened. Unfortunately a child that has a parent with CF has to deal with these things and get used to it as much as possible. At times I tell myself that some kiddies have parents who work away and might even be away for longer. That usually makes me feel slightly better and less terrible for putting her through whatever it is I put her through.
So anyway after chatting to my health visitor about some problems we had been having she said that there may be a chance of getting Livvy into nursery early as there may be funding for such things.
I never imagined for 1 second we would get something so amazingly helpful to not only me and Chris but mainly helpful to our beautiful daughter who has so much patience but deserves a bit of stability in her life. We had a meeting with 2 people from 'Sure Start' and they were so helpful and understanding. It felt so nice to actually be getting something positive happen I just wouldn't let myself believe that it would happen until we heard officially!!
We had our 2nd meeting and Tracey said yes we can fund her for 2 days per week which is 2 days of 5 hours. We were blown away! The knock on effect of Livvy being able to go to nursery is immense.... To name a couple of things Livvy will have some stability and routine every week, Jayden will get our full attention on him, we can get the housework done easier, I can rest without feeling guilty, or if I am in hospital chris will have a bit of a break. There are many more things but I won't bore you all.
Livvy had her first settling in session a few days ago where we stayed with her for an hour and spoke to all the staff about what happens at nursery and we spoke about what Livvy is like and any needs she has. We booked the 2nd settling in for the next day where she had to be left on her own at the nursery for an hour. Me and Chris were so so nervous but as soon as we walked in she ran off. We told her we would be back later and all I heard was "NOOOoooo" which is her new favourite word and says it so cheeky. So we left and rang after half an hour to see how she was and they told us she was fine :o) huge relief for us!
I am due to go back into hospital very soon so I wanted to go and pick Livvy up on my own. Its about a 2 minute walk from our house which is perfect! Its not too far for me to walk and can take my time if I'm struggling. So I went to pick her up and had to bribe her out with sweeties hehe! Naughty I know but I am such a proud Mommy that our little girl just takes whatever is thrown at her and deals with it so I wanted to treat her :o) we walked/ran home as she couldn't wait to tell Chris about her time at the nursery!
So can't believe I'm saying this but our angel is starting proper nursery on Monday! I will miss her like crazy when she isn't here but I know we have our gorgeous boy to concentrate on and a house to seriously sort out.
So even though I know I'm going back into hospital next week I feel a bit calmer about it as I know everyone will be more or less occupied. Hopefully not too much that they won't miss me though hehe :op
Livvy my angel when you read this just know how super amazingly proud I am of you and what a beautiful and funny daughter I have in you. Love you very much xxxx
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