Let the Pics Do the Talkin!

Since my last update I decided to tell a picture with stories. Once Jayden was born he went NICU, I was in serious pain from the c-section and I was too poorly to see him till about 9pm which is 9 hours after he was born! Most mommys get their babies handed to them straight away so only people that have experienced something similar will understand howwrong it feels to not have your baby with you after they are born. But obviously I understand that he needed to be where he was and I needed the care and rest I was getting but I really wanted to see him so Chris pushed me in a wheelchair into the NICU. I don't remember first meeting my little man at all.... All I remember is seeing the bottom of a bin as I just kept throwing up so literally didn't stay long at. The next time I saw him was nearly 24 hours later which is when I was a bit more with it and when I saw him I seriously broke down. Jayden had alot of fluids on himwhen he was born which made him look quite big and healthy but by the time I saw him he had lost the fluids and I got to see just how small he was. All that went through my mind is how can something so small and vunerable survive? I felt pure guilt that my body had given up and he had to come out so early. I was so scared. I was scared he was going to be really ill or maybe even worse. But all I will say is he was a tough little fighter from the second he was born. They told us to expect setback with him but he never took a step backwards. He is so tough and I am so proud of him for bein so strong when he was so ickle! Gonna stop now cos gotta do my iv's and this stupid laptop is doin my head in cos the space key doesnt work unless you press it hard and its doin my head in lol. bye for now xxx