Making Days Count

After coming out of hospital recently I really didn't feel good at all. In pain most of the time with a fractured rib and my lungs still were not behaing themselves. I was still coughing up thick, dark sputum that was hard to clear even after nebulisers. Problem is the more I coughed to move it all the more it hurt my rib. I have felt exhausted and have hardly been able to lift a finger to help with housework and with the kids so needless to say its been a bit stressful for me and Chris. Jayden is so big now I have really been struggling to lift him so I have felt pretty helpless and not like a good Mommy at all.

I had been in the house and not seen the outside world for days and my mum has been poorly too so we haven't really made a good pair lol.... We both started to feel slightly better and I have just started doing a bit more around the house and with the kids. It was valentines day yesterday so me and mum went into worcester to marks & spencer to get the meal deal for me to cook for Chris. Mum wanted to get a dress so we ended up walking around quite a bit and to my surprise I didn't do too badly :o) I am ok when I stop and start, its when I walk longer distance I start coughing and hurting.

I got some gorgeous food to cook for Chris and I got myself a drink. It all turned out lovely and we had our food sat at the table with loads of candles all around :o) Then we chillaxed on the sofa and watched Twilight which was the first film me and Chris ever saw together at the cinema. We had a lovely evening together and just proved we don't need shit loads of money to buy presents or go out to a posh restaurant to be happy! Not that I would mind if we did lol.

Today has been amazing!!! I managed to dress livvy and jayden then drove with them, my mum and buddy (mum's dog) to the lido park in droitwich. We were out for an hour and 20 mins and I was walking, pushing jayden in his pushchair, picking livvy up and putting her in the swing, walking up and down steps to help livvy onto the slide loads of times. I just had the best time!!! I am so happy that I achieved what I did. I had a fab time with my kids and mum and that is what my children deserve. I want to take them out and make them happy and show them mommy can have fun and do fun things as sometimes all they hear is me saying "no sorry mommy is too tired" or "mommy doesn't feel very well". I am sick of hearing myself say it so I am sure livvy is bless her. She is so caring and patient with me for such a young age. Chris is also patient with me when I get frustrated, upset or I am snappy with him. He deserves a medal cos he chooses to stay with me and put up with me.

I saw people looking at me today when I had to sit down for a bit cos my mum had to help livvy getting onto the slide etc and they glanced over with questioning looks as to why I was sat down and not running after my child. I just wish they understood how amazing I had done and that I just needed a little rest to let my lungs calm back down. But hey those people don't know me so I shouldn't take any notice.

To see my boy and girl with rosey cheeks and looking so happy out in the fresh air was absolutely priceless. I almost want to cry I am that happy. Every second is precious but times like that I wish I had a pause or rewind button so I could feel like that more! BUT now I have started to feel a slight improvement everyday and I don't plan on wasting a minute of family life and each day I am getting stronger again. So I will push my body to experience these amazing things as much as I can. I will NEVER give in or give up. I will always get knocked down but I will ALWAYS pick myself back up with the help of my children, husband and family :o) xxxx

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